There’s a pair of feet shuffling in the sand. Tree branches are rustling & twigs are snapping. The crash of waves is a slow, pulse in the distance. A soft ocean breeze blows calm, but threatening. KELSEY turns to a companion, scolding.

You can help, you know… 

There’s no response as the night continues to hum. The unmistakable scrape of rock on metal, trying to catch a spark. A fire is being built. KELSEY lets out a mirthless, cough of a laugh.

Of course, of course this would happen tonight, god-damnit… can you please do something?

There is no response. The night hums loudly as the wind picks up speed. A single crack of thunder reverberates in the distance. The scrape of rock on metal intensifies. KELSEY is breathing heavily.

Come on

The soft patter of rain on tarp. 


A spark catches fire & sizzles on bark, a familiar flicker of flame coats the wood. KELSEY exhales a deep sigh of relief & falls back onto the sand; spent but exhilarated. KELSEY breathes heavily, & smiles, chest heaving, staring up at the underside of the tarp.

Just… in time…

An especially large wave crashes on the shore. The rains intensity heightens, as does the fire burning closely. KELSEY’s breathing steadies.

No thanks to you, as usual… 

There is no response.

Look, I know you’re still mad, but they’re traps, that’s what they do, they trap. I can’t help it, & it’s not like you won’t get any food out of the deal either, so I don’t know why you’re complaining.

There is no response. The storm is in full stride, rapping harshly on the tarp. The fire has a few pieces of bark added to it & it flares happily. KELSEY exhales & smiles; cheeky, snarky, as if teasing a partner.

Turtles, I swear.

There is no response outside of a minor, slight movement in the sand. Almost a slither. KELSEY laughs again, this time genuine & bright.

I thought that’d get a rise out of you. So predictable. Of course I’m joking. Yes, yes, opposable thumbs, I’ve heard this all before! At least get some new material.

KELSEY rummages through a bag, opens a plastic bottle & takes a large swig of liquid, gulping it down happily. KELSEY falls back hard onto the sand in pleasant exhaustion.

I can’t say I enjoyed that …but it’s about the most excitement we get around here so I’ll take it.

KELSEY rummages through a bag again.

What do you mean?

There is no response. KELSEY palm packs a box of cigarettes, removing one slowly & placing it between parted lips & continues to speak.

I’m more than content, thank you very much, I’m just saying…

KELSEY shrugs, placing the cigarettes back in the bag & holds the liberated stick up to the flames where it instantly ignites. KELSEY rests back, takes several drags, exhaling out slowly in the moonlight. The ocean pulses. KELSEY finishes the sentence simply.

I don’t mind a bit of adventure.

There is no response outside of a minor, slight movement in the sand. KELSEY laughs heartily.

You’re right, very pathetic, but on a scale of one to adventure, that was at least, like, a nine. I can’t help what passes for adventure around here. Not everything can be Legend of Zelda…

There is no response.

You never played Legend of Zelda!? 

KELSEY almost chokes, completely incredulous, & goes on excitedly.

You’d love it, it’s basically a game of puzzles & strategy, but in a world where you have to weather the elements & fend for yourself against monsters & all sorts of unknown obstacles, it’s the best ever, seriously. 

KELSEY takes a long, contemplative drag on the cigarette & exhales slowly.

I wonder if that’s why I’m so good at surviving out here…

There is no response outside of a minor, slight movement in the sand. KELSEY realizes the accusation & responds bitingly.

& what is that supposed to mean!?

There is no response.

I’ve got the shelter up, fire’s going, as many blankets as I’ve ever had, about to dig in… to…

There is no response outside of a minor, slight movement in the sand. The storm is raging & hearty gusts of wind are whipping the tarp. KELSEY realizes the mistake with a shock, cursing in frustration.

The food! Damnit, you couldn’t of said something earlier!?

KELSEY runs through the storm toward the waters edge.