DOWN THREE SHEETS

KELSEY groans in frustration, kicks sand into the fire & the flames crackle their similar displeasure.

…it’s dead… it’s… dead… the phone is dead…

The winds gust in earnest again, as the patter of the rain dies out entirely. The ocean roar never ceases, only lulling calmly. KELSEY on the other hand is not calm.

This doesn’t make any sense!

There is no response.

Don’t you think I know that!? But if I really am alone then how did this get here!? Why did this get here!? Completely wrapped in plastic? How would you explain that? Like it was factory wrapped or something!? That doesn’t strike you as odd!?

There is no response outside of a minor, slight movement in the sand. 

Oh, so I’m imagining things again, am I? That was one time & I was super dehydrated, but this? This right here is real. It’s real! …it’s just …dead.

There is no response. KELSEY collapses back into the sand & rummages through a bag for something to take the edge off. KELSEY palm packs a box of cigarettes, removing one slowly & lighting it in the still burning fire. KELSEY takes a long drag & exhales dejectedly.

As dead as we are.

There is no response.

Oh, don’t look at me like that… 

There is no response. The ocean waves & the crackling fire are all that can be heard. KELSEY continues.

I know they’re bad for me, but do I look like I’m in a position to give a rats-ass? Once they’re gone you’ll have nothing to nag me about anymore & then you’ll be sorry…

There is no response outside of a minor, slight movement in the sand. 

Well yeah, but I’m not some mechanical wizard! Building a shelter is not like building a battery…

There is no response. The fire crackles boldly as a rustling tarp blows behind KELSEY.

That’s your reasoning? “Nothing better to do?” Why don’t I try constructina rocket then, right? That’d get me off the island too! Surely nothing lost in terms of my time & my sanity, right?

There is no response. KELSEY chokes out a laugh that was clearly unwanted but unavoidable.

Okay, well, yeah, touché…

KELSEY continues smoking the cigarette slowly, the wind calm & the ocean steady.

What can I say? You’re a good listener.

There is no response outside of a minor, slight movement in the sand. 

I can’t make any promises, but yes, I’ll try…

KELSEY continues smoking the cigarette slowly, the wind calm & the ocean steady. KELSEY grins before speaking again, ready to tease.

Maybe I can conduct some electricity with a lightning strike & that shell of yours… 

KELSEY cackles.

I don’t think that’d work anyway so you’re safe, but worth it to see that look on your face.

KELSEY exhales her last laugh & takes another slow drag of the cigarette.