There’s a small, slow footstep & a floorboard creaks ominously. A calm ocean breeze blows but the waves are still. A large, dilapidated boat can be heard quivering slightly at the water’s edge. KELSEY is breathing heavily & speaks carefully through gritted teeth, trying to maintain composure.

Will you stop struggling?

There is out no response outside of a slight rustling coming from KELSEY’s bag. KELSEY’s breathing steadies. KELSEY speaks carefully & tightly, cautious of any mistake.

We need to be careful. 

The ship groans ominously, caught in a large gust of wind. KELSEY’s words are slow, as are the steps across the ship, both pointed & purposeful.

One false move & we fall like forty-feet into who knows what… is that what you want?

There is no response. KELSEY’s nearly made it across the deck & while still cautious, KELSEY replies to Turtle with a lighter mood, sensing success.

That’s what I thought… & I left the zipper open so I don’t know what you’re complaining about, I’m the one doing all the work again. You’re just along for the ride.

There is no response outside of a slight rustling coming from KELSEY’s bag.

I know you didn’t want to come, but you did want the fish guts at the bottom of my bag & I wanted the company, so I think it’s a fair exchange.

There is no response. The ship rocks slightly & KELSEY opens a drawer in a room at center deck, stifling the desire to exclaim in celebration.

Yes! I knew it!

KELSEY pulls out a host of physical files & folders in the drawer, ruffling pages to get to the intended goal.

I know they’ve got to be here somewhere…

KELSEY drops the files with aplomb & they hit the table with a smack.


KELSEY kisses the paperclips dramatically.

To think these might have gone extinct!

There is no response outside of a slight rustling coming from KELSEY’s bag.

I’ve explained it to you at least twenty times now, all we need are two store batteries, rubber bands, & steel for a charge. We’re going to need some of this paper too so might as well grab it now.

KELSEY stuffs paper & a box of paperclips into the bag. KELSEY swings the bag over a shoulder & turns, tepidly. A floorboard creaks — & another, & another — as the slow passage back across the length of the deck begins. The ship rocks steadily.

& you said this was a fool’s errand…


I told you I’d seen a desk last time we raided the ship…


Desks have paper…


…& paper have clips.

A renewed gust of ocean breeze blows & the ship shifts suddenly, dangerously. KELSEY stops abruptly.

Don’t… move.

There is no response. Then suddenly, the ship shifts heavily & the floorboards shatter with a thunderous crack. KELSEY falls but doesn’t yell & grunts on impact, knocked unconscious.