Have you ever woken up one day & you’re just… different.
You can’t explain it, you can’t put words to it, but you know in your soul that you’re not the same anymore. Some part of you has diametrically changed forever & it just happened overnight when you were stuck in the darkness of your mind.
Well if you haven’t felt this way, I’m not entirely sure you’re missing out, but if you have, then you can relate to exactly how I was feeling after my woodland dream adventure; only imagine that you also had a body cast removed & came out of a coma at the same time. I was almost literally & figuratively a new person.
Do you think babies feel like they can rip the bricks from buildings with their bare hands too? Or maybe, they could walk into a flaming building without so much as a scuff on their shoes? Aw, baby shoes! …& I hate babies… but anyway, yes, I also felt completely & terrifyingly invincible.
For someone who had felt suffocated by life & vulnerable to every sight, sound, & touch, it was like I had gone to sleep shivering in the frozen tundra only to wake up on the beach in a bathing suit drinking piña coladas. I tried to act cool about it too, because I knew how strange it would seem to show up to school & be actually happy. Imagine, me, pleasant? It just wouldn’t work.
I should’ve known I had no chance. I’d been released from prison! A prison of my own mind, of my own nervous system, but a prison none-the-less, & with potentially an even less relenting warden — it sucks, it’s dehumanizing, & being out of it is magical… & yet, it was almost worth the price of the curse…
But like I said, I should’ve known I had no chance… & high school is not the place you want to draw attention to yourself…